Today is Winnie The Pooh Day and whilst I love the characters from the story it always reminds me of the time my son was born. I write about it briefly in my book “Whatever it Takes” and I thought I’d share a small excerpt with you here:
“After I had given birth, Sam and I were allowed home after what felt like months but was actually only 3 days. That was 3 days too long as far as I was concerned but once we finally arrived home I started to relax properly, only to find that Colin had decorated the nursery in a Winnie The Pooh theme ‘as a surprise’ for me.
I was feeling pushed out.
Whilst I was working during the latter part of my pregnancy Colin was at home and had discovered the TV sales channels. I would often come home to find that he had purchased another essential item for our unborn child. I’d had no input into the pushchair, Moses basket, changing bag or other such items that I had looked forward to researching, choosing and buying. Colin had bought them to ‘help’ me out and stop me ‘having to worry about them’ whilst I was at work.
I couldn’t believe how insensitive he could be to me wanting to be involved and when I questioned him about it I was told that I was ungrateful. He was trying to stop me from having too much to do whilst I was still at work and that it made him feel that he was contributing in some way because being out of work made him feel worthless.
He always seemed to be able to win me around to his point of view and I gradually grew to accept that he knew best and was looking after me even though deep down I was in turmoil. I wanted to be a proper mum, I wanted to experience the excitement that went with buying my first pushchair, Moses basket, baby bath and other baby paraphernalia. I spent a lot of time feeling like I was just a vessel to carry his child rather than the mother of our child.”